Seasons

I met you in the winter in the snow at a house party in Bristol. You were so funny you lit up the room. I was instantly smitten with this total stranger.

2 years later, I’d still think about you from time to time. Then 2020 came and it was a tough year from the offset. Spring came round and lockdown happened and I found myself in a similar mindset of my past. I decided to make myself happy and started messing on bumble. Then to my amazement, out of the blue you popped up. We matched and chatted for a bit before you asked me on a date.

We met in Summer, it was one of the hottest days and I still can vividly picture you waiting for me on the bridge with the sun beating down. I was so nervous but then you turned and smiled at me and I felt the nerves start to dissipate. We continued to date and navigated our way through this so seamlessly, laughing and joking. You needed to be patient with me as you knew I was guarded, that I hid myself, but slowly we got there. You broke down my walls and I stopped hiding, I poured everything of myself into you. We would stay up chatting till five in the morning debating, telling each other our desires for life and laughing, we even had hot phone sex for awhile.

Then autumn came and the leaves started to fall and life got back to a routine. I went back to the reality of work and you were trying to figure out a career and a travel opportunity. We pushed and pulled against each other but were falling in love in amidst the madness. I was so scared to feel so deeply and be hurt I held on too tight. We lost our way a bit but we pushed onwards. We had the most dreamy weekend in your home where you told me you loved me for the first time. You let me see into your world and I desperately wanted to share mine.

It’s Winter now and everything seems bleak, the second lockdown happened and we’ve broken up. I am still so in love with you. It’s agony knowing you’ve pulled away from me and the bittersweet memories of everything we did together replay in my head, knowing we built a real deep love slowly that burned so spectacularly. And as quickly as the seasons change you’ve come and gone. I hope in time to meet you in another season in our lives, when you’re ready because I hold out hope that you will come to a point where you make the decision to chose love.