See me

After breaking up with me in September and breaking my heart, 2 months later, I’m still no where near healing and think of him every hour of every day. I texted him weekly begging him to see me. Trying to sound happy and light hearted in the texts and not angry and upset. I asked if there was any chance of us or should I go back to tinder. He said there could be a chance and agreed to meet me the following week To ‘see how we feel.’ I already know how I feel, I love him and miss him like crazy. I was excited and hopeful to see him hoping I’d change his mind and playing out in my head how I’d fall into his arms. The week dragged by and on the day, I texted again to see where and when. He text back saying he was busy, but we would meet soon. I was devastated. Another week passed and I text again, asking if we’re still meeting up. I was so hopeful, but no response.
Why does he mess with me like this, it’s cruel and unfair.
I’m now going to therapy to help me deal with my broken heart, the isolation, loneliness, no self-worth and sadness. I know I need to move on. I’d do anything to have our relationship back like it was in June, when we were so much in love.