Sucker punched

We met in work, I was engaged to another. We had this pull that couldn’t be ignored or denied. I ended the engagement and then our 4 year journey began.
I found the absolute love of my life who knew everything about me, the good, the bad and the ugly.
I’ve never felt anything like it before, he knew what I was thinking/feeling before I did and made me feel incredibly special, with his little romantic gestures. And the sex... well that was insane, we just worked in every way. Or so I thought.
3 years pass and we buy our 1st home. That’s when it all changes.
He becomes jealous, controlling... toxic. I cry myself to sleep for months on end. It’s like he enjoys my pain.
The person who I fell in love with had gone.

Lockdown hit and I realised I couldn’t be isolated with him so I plucked up the courage to finally leave.
He reels me back in with everything I wanted to hear.. “you’re the love of my life, the one for me, I’m just too young, will you wait for me?”, “I’ll never find anyone like you again”, “you’ll always be my best friend”.. it goes on.
And I fell for it, hook, line and sinker!
I kept going back to him whenever he’d message. Then leave feeling used.
We promised each other we’d stop when we started speaking to other people. And we’d be honest and tell each other so not to hear it from anyone else.
Well he didn’t tell me when he was sleeping with her, coming back to me and then back to her.
I found out and it broke me. I’ve never felt pain like this. I don’t think I’ll ever fully recover.
Worst of all when I asked him about it he tried to deny it, when he did admit it he said he had no intention to ever tell me. Have his cake and eat it.
Baffled that I let myself be sucker punched by him after everything he’s put me through previously.
I just never thought someone who claimed to love me the way I loved him could ever do that.
People lie. Love hurts. Lesson learnt.