9 1/2 weeks: Part 3

8 1/2 months after the day you broke my heart we were finally face to face again. We’d spent a week talking knowing that we would have to see each other now the office was back open… and we’d both laughed it off as ancient history and that everything would be fine…. I spent all weekend on edge, not knowing how it’d feel to see you face to face, I was excited and terrified in equal measure. Two hours in to the working day you sought me out. You said that you got scared, you said you were sorry, you said the feelings were still there… as the week went on it got more intense… the feelings came flooding back. You said that you never realised how I much I cared… that all the words and moments we had in those months you dismissed because it was easier than being the man you needed to be and finally moving on from your ex… instead you moved on with her. Four weeks on and I’m in love with you all over again. You are making promises and sticking to them (this time) you are moving in with me… I’ve officially told my mum about you… and you’ve told your boss you’re splitting up with her… we have a plan…. like we did last time… but will you stick to it this time? You promise me you will… am I being a fool again? For every moment of happiness and hope I have a moment of fear… I’m scared to be happy. I’m scared to love you again… the pain of divorce isn’t a patch on the fear I have of losing you for a second time. We have a song now, we have our own language, but until I have you in my bed when I fall asleep and next to me when I wake up I won’t believe it’s real. They call it falling in love because it hurts, it’s the most exquisite pain, and I’m addicted to the pain you cause. I just hope it never stops.