A vibe

To my work colleague, friend and secret crush... Michael.

I couldnt find a more fitting way for a script/film writer, to find out how I feel about him.

Like most of us, I spent my lockdown unemployed and collecting the vase amount of job rejections I had gotten. I spent most my hours applying for jobs, making banana bread and cussing Dominic Cummings and the rest of that shitty Tory gov... I finally got an email, from what is now the company I work for, confirming that I have employment. Even though, it wasnt a job in the field I worked; I took it. And im glad I did because its how I met you. From the very first day I met you, I knew you were going to be a vibe. You had me in stitches every single day. I found myself wanting to go to work on Mondays, just so I could connect with you. Every eye glance, everytime you gave me a fist pump, every time your name popped up on teams. I could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into the rabbit hole. I feel that the longer I knew you, the more I liked you. Who couldn't like you? You're a great man. You're ambitious as hell. I see your work ethic, i see you hussle and I see you grind. Youre a dreamer, but a realist. Starting you production company (such a turn on). You've got the kindest heart, as you are always there to help others when they need it. You're incredibly wise, I always learn something when Im around you. Because youve had such a life, and I know you havent told me all of it yet. You're very in touch with your emotions and you express your heart very well. You're the most chilled guy in the room and you're soo smooth I could spead you on warm toast. You're not the great at black jack though... sorry. HONESTLY, when youre around me, you make me feel nervous, like I'm lost for words and can't say this with my chest. I feel like I'm 15 again and I havent felt that in a long time. You are honest and youre always really positive about everything in your life. You got the sexiest deep, masculine inner city, londoner voice, like youre from ends. But when you sent me that voice note in Portuguese, I had to drop the phone. (It helped me develop a new product for my side hussle lool). You're soo sexy, I want to steam those glasses up. And That swagger, bowiii... I knew you could dance before you told me. Youre going to have to sit down, when were next in the office. Youre a problem solver, a great listener and I wish I could be for you, what you are for me. BUT most importantly (and annoyingly), your a GREAT father of 2, with a GREAT Fiancé...

You make it so hard to stop thinking about you. This feeling is something I have tried to overlook, hide and reject for the longest time. But when I opened up and told you about my life, and you were there to listen, advise and just be there. I realised one thing... not many people know im adopted... but youre the 5th and 5 is my lucky number. Michael, I dont want to want you, but I do want you. 

I would never break up a family. Nor would you want to do this to your family. So, I'll go back to writing love stories online about you. Micheal, my work colleague, my friend and my secret crush.

If you ever find this, then Im sorry I didnt tell you. But Im glad you have found this, and maybe in another life...

Lots of strong LIKE,
Your work colleague and friend.