Do I?

We were best friends and one drunken kiss changed it, we were suddenly seeing each other, too much pressure on us and it broke us after 3 months. I regret that kiss so much I wish I had gone home and we were still best friends but it was going to happen.
You left for 2 months and we saw each other last week and it’s like we hadn’t left each other - a connection I’ve never experienced - it’s like a new page where we have both grown and changed but somehow we have not mentioned what happened 2 months ago. You flirt with me still and it’s very confusing as I can’t fall back in love with you, you’re leaving to go away and I don’t want to be hopelessly in love with someone while they don’t care ….. It’s do I go after what I want or do I just drown in my love for him?