I think I might be living my best life

(This wasn’t the plan, I was supposed to be living my best life - Part 2)

I was right and I couldn’t be happier about it. Moving back to Uni brought me everything I could have hoped for :) A year of instability finally reached its end in ways I once never thought possible. I didn’t expect anything to happen with anyone and just by chance it did (these things always do when you’re not looking for them it seems). And yes, I am truly happy, in part due to unexpectedly falling for someone who’s been in my life for a year now - a hookup turned casual friends with benefits turned exclusive and now recently turned blossoming relationship - it’s warm and healthy and I’m more than grateful. And whilst it’s wonderful now, I don’t feel dependent and I’m open to and accepting of the complexities that the future brings our young selves.

But I don’t write this to boast, I don’t feel smug at all - in fact it pains me slightly since I know the crushing feeling of having to read of others’ luck and happiness when it feels like your own world is falling to pieces. I’ve recently watched others who seemed so content whilst I was struggling endure a similar fortune to past me, and it’s devastating. I write this from the other side, almost to try and tell my past self and anyone else who needs it that the most important thing to do is cherish and prioritise your sense of self above all else. I’m not perfect now, I still struggle. But if last year taught me anything, it really is that. You need to be the centre of your own narrative! Because when you really are, things slot into place.