It’s complicated

I met this woman through work last summer when we came out of the first Lockdown. We bonded immediately over personal interests, sense of humor and I started helping her with her business. We quickly established a regular rapport over WhatsApp. It started with friendly updates about what we were up to at weekends, books, music. I suffer from depression and she’s a psychologist so she would also give me helpful tips about looking after myself during Lockdown. Then one day she sent me Faith Hill’s Breathe on Spotify and her WhatsApps became more frequent and borderline flirty. Never outright sexual, just borderline intimate. She also started calling and multiple texting me late at night when she had too much to drink with her girlfriends. Again never full on sexual, just borderline intimate, uninhibited, reckless. She would always apologise the next day for being drunk. She’s married with teenage kids and has said she is a little lonely in, but committed to her marriage and values our friendship. As a psychologist she enjoys deep conversations so it's always in the context of that. I have just come out of a very painful divorce and don’t think I am ready for a relationship. So don’t think I'm doing anything to encourage anything more than a friendship, but I do like the fact that she shows an interest in me. She frequently tells me that we need to establish “boundaries" because she doesn’t want me to get hurt. But also sends me regular gifts of flowers, books, care packages, cards. The other day she texted me “Legs, bum or boobs?” When I asked her how this was consistent with boundaries she said that it was in the context of a conversation she was having with her son and just wanted my opinion on what I value as a man. I told her it was an inappropriate question and we didn’t speak for a few days, but she apologised and now we are back in contact. I have only seen her one other time since we met and she keeps talking about going out for a demijohn of wine together when Lockdown ends. My friends tell me I am heading for a(nother) train crash (my marriage ended because I was cheating on my wife) and that I should call time on the friendship before things become more complicated. But I miss it when I don’t hear from her.