Situations

We’d lived together in a house share for 2 years. We spent a lot of time together; Sunday walks, trips to the zoo, hiring boris bikes, family birthdays, that entire first lockdown stuck at home, wine bars, drunk McDonalds. Friends told us we were cute together. We brushed it off. He announced he was moving out. We slept together. He didn’t want anything serious, but I guess I did. He kept me at arms length, ready to pull me in when it suited. He left London for a bit, but when he came back we continued to hang out, sleep together, go to the cinema, dinner, drinks. Drunk late night calls. He didn’t like it when I got involved with other guys, but he made it clear he didn’t want me either. Despite it all, I realised I loved him. I took a dream job abroad and suddenly there was a time limit. He wanted to spend more time with me, being the one making plans - almost, it seemed, in a panic. Our goodbye was casual, but I cried all the way home. I haven’t heard from him since I left.