To be continued…

In a long distance relationship where things were really starting to unravel and ahead of the imminent lockdown 1, I was offered an ultimatum of ‘drive 200 miles to London and stay with me here, or else you don’t value us enough and it’s over.’ It was an unsettling time with the start of the pandemic and I did as I was asked, partly through fear. Lockdown was hard for everyone, but for me the rollercoaster of the relationship intensified. In a low state and knowing that couldn’t continue, I started counselling sessions and was immediately hit with the reality that the relationship was abusive and he was a narcissist. Wow, I just don’t think I had seen it - I knew that things felt off and I was miserable, but it was true, I was being abused in lots of ways. The abusive behaviour continued to escalate, but I managed to I build some strength and started to look after myself better too. I found the courage to finally leave in the summer. I spent time with family and friends when I could and started to feel good again. In the autumn I joined Bumble and Hinge - maybe I should have waited, but I had bounced back quickly through therapy and lots of hard work and reflection. Through the dating apps, I was seeing someone for a short time, but I think in my heart I knew that it wasn’t really there, so I stopped it from progressing further. Fast forward to just before Christmas and I met an amazing man on Hinge - the chemistry, laughs, emotion, support and love are incredible and although I feel an amazing connection and that he is the one, time will tell because it’s been bumpy. Today is our official 6 month anniversary…will we make it to a year…to be continued