All it took

I’ve been dreaming about you for months, when I’m awake and when I’m asleep. Dreaming about THAT night and how it felt to finally kiss you and be in your arms. Dreaming about how it will feel when we’re eventually reunited post lockdown. I’ve been obsessively wondering if you’re thinking about it too, but I’m too scared to ask. Scared the answer will be no. That it was a one off, never to be repeated. 

That was up until Saturday anyway.

All it took was one night of conversation (and a large dose of tequila) for me to feel those butterflies with someone else - someone who is leaving the country for good in a few weeks, who I will probably never see again. Suddenly, I’m not thinking about you anywhere near as much. I’m not scared about how you feel. I’m not sure I feel as strongly as I thought I did. 

I can’t tell what’s real. Is it all just boredom and lack of human interaction? What are you doing to my head, lockdown? Or am I always this messed up?