Booty Call’s birthday: Update
The good news is we're still together. And when its going well, it feels like nothing I've experienced before. I now understand what people mean when they use the phrase 'he just gets me' and I can see a future with this man that I have never realistically seen with anyone else.
But....I now also understand what people mean when they say that relationships are hard. Before, I always presumed that the people who said that, were the people in 'the wrong' relationships, with 'the wrong' people.
But now, I don't think that's the case. I think its not until you enter a relationship, when you try to completely and utterly allow yourself to be vulnerable to someone else, and when you have to live like the relationship will last 'until death do us part', that its only then when you realise the scars that the other men, and your other experiences have left. Because for years you've trained yourself in 'being casual', in always knowing that at some point: the sex will stop, or the chatting will stop or the hoping for something more than just sex and chatting will stop. That now it feels, almost unnatural to believe that this could be something lasting, that this is an illusion only found in Austen novels or films like Notting Hill. And that you are foolish to be so trusting. But the paradox is that you have to wholeheartedly trust one another to make the relationship work.
And so its about not overthinking. Not second guessing what he says. And not panicking that you seem to argue a lot. Because that doesn't mean that you're in 'the wrong' relationship-it just means that for two people to come together with their different experiences and ideas, that it takes time to really know each other. You've just got to always tell each other how you feel.
And I know I don't need to say this, as this has already turned into enough of a preachy submission about 'my thoughts on relationships'.......BUT if our pandemic experiences have taught us anything is it this: If he makes you feel like a hole to be filled by a penis, he is not worth your time. LIFE IS TOO SHORT. xxx