Clink together

My mom and I have made it a practice to go for walks together during lockdown. So, yesterday, right on schedule, we went for our daily walk. She talked as I nodded and added an occasional comment or story in between her streams of consciousness. That's usually how our conversations go. We've gotten into the groove of it. 

But yesterday was different. As my mom was on her third stream of consciousness she choked up, which she rarely does anymore. She opened up to me about how she doesn't feel heard in her marriage. There's a lack from my father..."a dismissiveness" she explains. I know exactly what she's talking about the second she says it. 

"He always pegs me as annoying or waves me off," she chokes back even more tears. 

Then, out of what felt like a wave of the purest form of love, she stops walking and whispers, "I am so lucky to have such an amazing daughter." 

I nod and wrap my arm around her. We're both skinny. Our boney arms clink together making it impossible for me to convey just how tightly I want to hold her in that moment.

"When you were younger you didn't hear me either...I tried, but you dismissed me too. It hurt." 

I go to reply, but she interrupts me:

"That's besides the point." 

We walk with a new understanding hanging over us.