Closer

We had just escaped for the weekend to see your family when news started coming in from Italy. The nytimes long read about Lombardy scared me. We had the best few days together before I went back to work in hospital. The patients were so sick and there were so many and the days were so long - but every day that passed was a day that brought me closer to you. 

The city was a ghost town. Sometimes it felt like everyone had escaped and other times it felt like everyone was still here, hiding. My heart ached when I saw other couples together - on the train, in grocery stores, walking in the park. I was worried about how you were doing and it was hard to only be there for you over the phone. 

Slowly restrictions were lifted and there were fewer unwell patients and restaurants were open again. The days became longer and suddenly it was summer. We got to see each other again. We even got to go away - a few days together in the sunshine. 

And then new restrictions came and we couldn’t see each other again. 

The pandemic has taken so much from so many but it has brought me closer to you. Even when we didn’t see each other for months and months, you were so caring and loving and made me feel like I was the only one who mattered. The other day you said you would have wanted to move in together had you known a pandemic was coming - maybe one day soon.

I can’t wait to see you again. Thank you for loving me.