Ex in Next

I love you because you inspired me to learn French, encouraged me to try yoga and introduced me to anal sex.

I hate you because you chickened out of introducing me to your dad, you compared me to Korean models on Instagram and thought it was "funny" to see how I'd react by ignoring my Facebook friend request. Oh, and pressured me into having unprotected sex with you (thanks for the chlamydia, by the way).

I'm now dating someone who actually asked me to be their girlfriend on our second date, introduced me to their close family and friends within the first three months of dating and video calls me every day. Oh, and encourages me to go for whatever form of contraception that is good for my body.

Breaking up with you during lockdown 1.0 was hard but the best decision I made. I deleted >10000 WhatsApp messages from you yesterday. Madison Beer's song epitomises you because you're toxic and I don't even have to try to find the G-O-O-D in goodbye.