Free

My love story started in 2006 but covid has been the thing that has finally given me the opportunity to finally set myself free from your spell. It's hard to break down something that has lasted so many years and yet never really was anything more than amazing chemistry. You were the one man who made my heart pound in my chest just from the sound of your voice. Your voice would make me feel you were the sexiest man in the world. Infact, if I'm honest which I am being, I've had a lot of sexual encounters in my life. But you were the one who drove me wild in so many ways. 
Have you ever loved someone who never loved you back? Or who loved you to an extent - as you so blatantly put it one time. It hurts, and it takes a long time to finally accept it and be ok with it. Well that's what covid has allowed me. Because we have had years where we never saw each other, but not quite like this year. Last time we saw each other was still magical, the feeling of europhrua after we have had sex. But you wouldn't see me during this pandemic, and that hurt. So I've hurt you back by sending you footage of me and another man having sex. And it's not the first time I did it, but it is the last time. They were all male escorts. Because it's hard to find a decent man now days. Men treat you like a disposable item. There’s no connection anymore. But at least when you pay a man to have sex with you, you’re in control and no ones feelings are getting hurt. So although covid has taken a lot of my freedom away. It has also given me a new freedom. To finally let you go. And my heart feels good. I've waited a long time to feel the clarity I have now. I'm ready to find love and be loved.