Fuck You P***!

Just as lockdown started the man I had been happily seeing for 10 months began working 'crazy hours'. He works in a hospital and so was on the front line. What a noble cause I thought, and as much as I was confused, worried and upset by the uncertainty of lockdown, I wanted to help him and offer support, space, baked goods and entertainment, but he was was so busy, I suddenly stopped hearing from him for almost a month. 

He is a recovering alcoholic so I became convinced that he had started drinking and was ashamed to tell me, so I spent two weeks reading everything I could about how to support someone who might have had a relapse. 

Finally, one Saturday afternoon, he called. Anticipating the worst, I had prepared a relapse-support speech in front of me. He was making chicken soup, and he broke up with me while I could hear the chopping in the background. The relationship wasn't going the way he had envisaged (bearing in mind the situation...what the actual F). I very quickly found out the real reason was a petite blonde he'd been talking to for some weeks and that he was quite simply, a liar and a coward.

I find it profoundly sad that I didn't realise the last time I saw him would be the last time. Especially because we live 15 minutes from each on opposing edges of the park. Fortunately, I've had the whole of lockdown to realise how grateful I am for me and how much more I deserve. 

Fuck you, P***!