Inconsistencies

I miss your hugs. Living my life without you is definitely easier, less anxiety - a hell of a lot less. Less tears, but less smiles too. I’m sure that will change in time....the smiles will come back, I’m sure. I don’t crave you back anymore. You’re not an addiction to me anymore. I don’t miss coming back to you. I mean it was fun - a lot of fun. You gave me back my teen years - I never had a fun boyfriend when I was young. So I appreciate that. The whole sleeping with someone else and making me feel like shit, albeit inadvertently, I did not appreciate, but hey - that’s life eh? Teenage boyfriends never last. I’ve almost forgiven you but I’m having trouble with forgiving myself. I don’t know why I stayed as long as I did. Do you? I don’t blame you - at all. I do blame myself. I grew up with inconsistencies. So why did I choose to love one? That says more about me than you. But anyway, I miss your hugs. That’s all.