Lockdown Brought Me Back My Best Friend: Update

Since I posted this and a lot have happened and changed. From New Year's Eve deciding to see where this was going, we then went through Lockdown 3.0. We continued to try and makes things exciting but also getting to know each other better. We agreed to do a date night every Saturday over zoom. Each week we decided to do something different, we did takeaway roulette, we are not really strangers type questions and also online video style games. I got to know him, for who he really was. In the past when we were best friends, we hid so much from one another. I was so scared of feelings and never showed him the real me. It was like he was getting to know someone that was a stranger to him all those years ago. It was tough and with the uncertainty of when we're going to see another again, we were just longing for the day that we would be reunited. On Valentines night, we got dressed up to sit in front of our computers and made a list of all the dates we wanted to do when Lockdown was over. We sent presents and cards to one another and agreed to open them on zoom together. He got a frame that had the coordinates of where we met in Turkey at 18 years old. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I burst into tears. It was the most thoughtful present anyone had given me. I realised at this point I was completely in love with him, it hit me so hard, but I couldn't tell him over a video call, it wouldn't be right after all this time. I wrote him a letter to get it all out after the Zoom so I knew how I felt in that moment, so I could tell him when the time was right.

It got to early March and my birthday, we had gone nine weeks without seeing one another and decided to break the rules and for me to travel to Bristol. We booked a hotel and planned a long weekend together. I was so nervous to go and see him, only my closest friends and family knew I was going. I packed my bag, with my letter safely in there to give to him. I arrived into Bristol and there he was, waiting for me in real life. It was like a movie moment, we embraced and I felt home. It was my birthday the day I arrived, we got to the hotel room and had some drinks. I opened my presents from him, to which he then said, I need to talk to you about something, my heart froze, those dreaded words from someone. He said that he didn’t want to mess around anymore and that would I commit to being his girlfriend. It was the quickest yes that I had ever said. I cried and said how happy I was. I felt at this moment, was the moment to give him the letter I wrote on Valentines, I said to him I don’t expect anything back, but I want you to read this. It wasn't said back, but I never expected it to be.

From this point, we have spent every other weekend travelling to and from to see one another. It is hard at times and when we leave each other it really hurts, but I know this is all worthwhile because I have never felt like this in the past. We have openly spoken about how we are pleased it worked out this way as we have grown up and lived our lives, which has brought us back together at the right time. There are no secrets anymore or hidden feelings, its just natural, we click.

Whilst in Lockdown 3.0 we planned our first ever date for when we could. We booked a restaurant in Bristol. This came to be the last weekend in May, I was so nervous but excited that we could finally sit in a restaurant together, not as friends, but finally as boyfriend and girlfriend. When I got to Bristol, he had taken a half day and booked a hotel. I got there and he opened the door, where he had arranged a load of rose petals on the floor which lead to a heart shape on the bed, a letter and my favorite wine. In the note, he went on to say that he had never been able to be this open with anyone and was so happy to know the real me after all these years, he was even crazier about this version of me, than the girl he knew at 18. He could not wait to build a future. He replied to my letter in March saying, I love you too.

Just over 6 months on, from old friends meeting in our university town of Bath, we are now planning a future together. Not only as best friends but partners, totally in love and me planning to move to Bristol from London by the end of the year.

Lockdown not only brought me back my best friend, but the love of my life.