My one love

He is, and always has been, my one love. We were together when we were 16, but eventually broke up in our 20s after we grew up, and grew apart. He used to take me for granted - I used to nag him.

A decade later, we had completely lost touch. During the pandemic I would dream vivid, realistic dreams about him. I would wake up devastated. I found myself longing for that familiarity, that closeness I hadn’t found again since.

One day, in the second lockdown, I was feeling more lonely than ever. I texted a friend explaining how I kept thinking about him. I looked up his insta, looking at this exciting life he was living without giving me a second thought. I felt heartbroken.

The next day, completely out of the blue - he slid into my DMs. Call it a romcom, or blame the algorithms from the stalking.... We met for coffee. It’s amazing how you can know a person inside and out, but they can make you as nervous as hell to see them again.

Turns out, he felt the same all this time too. It’s like it was meant to be. All signs point to destiny.

Oh - but he has a girlfriend.

So I’m trying my hardest to keep my options open. Trying to be a good person and not interfere. Trying not to feel like I’m waiting for him.

But I am.