No labels

We met through work, I didn’t think it was more than friends until the night you kissed me. I still remember the exact spot it happened.
We dated, had some mutual hobbies, met friends and family, we became exclusive but you weren’t sure on “labels”… I should have walked away then but I stayed. Why? You’d got under my guard and I found myself being patient for the first time. 
We went on holidays, I thought I’d found my equal - it felt like a great relationship filled with laughter and happiness.
Then you dropped the bombshell, you wanted a “spark” with someone but still found me attractive and want to be friends…

Is bouncing off each other, laughing all the time, feeling safe, sharing anything comfortably, going on adventures, being encouraged, never being controlled as everyone is allowed freedom, always having support on the good and bad days… not what people want?

Now I’m lost, always anxious, unsure of myself, feeling worthless and used. Did I ever really know you? What am I lacking?… Was I ever enough?