Peaches and Cream
**Chapter 0**
Hinge seems to be the the common theme for many of these lockdown stories, so we’ll start there. Despite being a dating app snob, I signed up to Hinge just before the lockdown. My expectations were low and perhaps the honestly / authenticity this gave space for, set the foundation for a relationship with one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met.
**Chapter 1**
I approached her crudely: “can I lick chocolate off you”. She indeed was not impressed. After a little flick around the ear, I was challenged to a game of trivia on the House Party app, where I got to see her face in motion for the first time - her glowing skin, her flowing hair, her lips, her breasts. To say I wanted to ravage her then, would be an understatement.
**Chapter 2**
So now I’ve had my ass kicked on trivia and my ego is really not having it. Thankfully, our “social distancing” date in the park is just around the corner and I’m ready to pull all the stops - berry’s, peaches and cream, portable speaker for cheesy classics - you name it. If I hadn’t conquered her heart (as well as her sexual appetite) the way she’d conquered my ego, God himself would have come down to set things right.
**Chapter 3**
What’s a diamond worth if it’s never found? This beautiful woman is seemingly (close to) perfect, but shes struggling with vulnerability and if we’re going to go to that special place, I need to come up with a plan. “Hey bro, do you know where I can get some edibles?”. I ordered the brownies and salted caramel blondies. Next I set the date and before you know it we were tearing them down by Little Venice. Several moments later we’re in my car, tucked neatly in the corner of her underground car park. “Do you love him?” I asked. “He’s the safe option” she said. “He’s a nice guy, I’d have a good life, but I don’t love him”. “Could you love me?” Chomping away cheekily at my thai sweet chilli sensations crisps (munchies are real). “I could” she said as she smirked, swiveled around and lay her body between my legs. We laid there, enjoying each other for 10 hours.
**Chapter 4**
She meets my sister (who gives her stamp of approval) and several “lockdown” dates later, we find ourselves in Hampstead Heath, where perched on little bench we noticed “lockdownlovestories.com” written in chalk on a seat a couple of metres in front of us. Right there and then, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she said yes (those peaches and cream really did the trick). That’s right, we’re writing this 5mins into being a real couple. Wish me luck folks.