Realisations

It took the first lockdown to realise if we hadn’t broken up last summer, we never would have made it through the pandemic. Your manipulation, your controlling and your gaslighting would have made me lose my mind. 

You consistently dangle reconciliation in front of my face and then consistently let me down. You tell me you miss me and you want to catch up and then you don’t get in touch for a month. 

It took the second lockdown to make me realise I deserve better than false promises and hoping for nothing.

It took the third to make me realise I never deserved to be treated the way you treated me for three years. 

And I sure as hell don’t deserve to be treated the same way after a year and a half of not needing you, pandemic or not. 

Shame I still miss you, though.