Red Alert

We matched at the start of June, lockdown had felt like a lifetime by now. He made me truly laugh out loud and I'd never even met him. No one makes me laugh like him. He was handsome and funny and flirty. Asked if I wanted to be his Whatsapp buddy that very first night. I liked him straight away, there was connection that didn't seem fake or forced. But there were instant red flags. I saw them and ignored them. He mentioned a crazy ex from a relationship that had only ended a couple of months ago. I thought it was great that he was being open and honest. We had a video call and messaged every day for a week before we broke the lockdown rules and met. I travelled an hour in an Uber to where he lived. I was about to enter a total strangers house in a global pandemic, knowing full well that we would have sex. I was nervous when I arrived and he offered me glass of wine straight away. I joked about being an alcoholic and yes please to the wine. He stopped dead and said to me - "are you really an alcoholic, because my crazy ex was an alcoholic and I just can't deal with that kind of thing". I tried to reassure him I was joking. He didn't believe me and it got mentioned on more than one occasion. We had a wonderful "date", had sex 3 times and it was earth-shatteringly good. We carried on seeing each for a month until he completely spun out one day. His ex was still contacting him and he couldn't bring himself to get close to anyone else. I knew this day was coming but it was still a sad moment. We're still in contact now. He's said he wants to be friends because he respects me and loves me a bit and doesn't want to hurt me. The problem is, I love him a bit too. I can see Heartbreak City on the horizon.