Same story

We met a year ago. I saw him as a kind of saviour, he pulled me out of a dark hole I was in, still heartbroken a year on from the end of a 5 year relationship. He was like this shining light, a beacon of hope and happiness. But then he broke up with me in February as he “wasn’t ready”. I think my previous long term relationship scared him. He came running back a few weeks later and I’ve wondered now if it was because of the imminent lockdown and that he’d rather have me than be alone. He was full of regret and promised me more. That he’d commit and we’d do all these wonderful things together. We didn’t move forward, nothing changed. I don’t think I ever felt secure around him again after the first breakup. The world looks like it’s slowly going back to normal, and he’s just broken up with me again. Same story, can’t give me what I want. But this time I know it. I miss him intensely, but I know I deserve more. I’m excited for love again, in the future, but now I need to be alone for a while. To stop believing that I can only be happy if I have someone. That happiness only equals love. Time to break the co-dependency cycle.