The last piece of the puzzle

You rang me when lockdown started to ‘make sure I was ok’. Two years and four months apart. We’d been together for nearly eight years... due to get married until I cancelled everything. You were my first love. I used to be scared of living life without you, but I became scared of living life with you.

You told me there were still things I didn’t know about our relationship. I asked you to tell me. You’d already lost me, and there wasn’t anything you could say to hurt me further. You told me there were two more, together, whilst I’d been waiting for you to come home to me at 6am. Wondering why you hadn’t called and where you were. Why your friends then said it had been an early night.

It was the last piece of the puzzle. The one piece I knew there was a truth behind, that you’d never admit to. You’d admitted to other things when you’d been caught before, but this one you wouldn’t. Until now.

Your narcissistic ways and abusive behaviour may have broken me, but all I can say now is thank you. I still get angry when I think of you, but I would only be the person I am now with the lessons I learnt whilst picking myself up off the ground. I fell in love with life again, and with myself.