To everything but you

I’ve written about 10 drafts of lockdown love stories - in the hope that he’d read it and know I still loved him. After everything we went through, all the trauma we shared, got through and entered into the first lockdown with, breaking up with him, shattered what felt like everything inside me.

It’s been six months and something has snapped. The lockdown love story is an ode to the amazing friends in my life, the friend that took me in with open arms and talked and talked with me until 1am, introduced me to a new side of London + watched me go mad on sake and made me smile again, the friend that helped me move into my new flat and did a healing spell for me, equipped with a sound bowl, pizza + wine, the friend that took me back to her home, after falling headfirst into the sandwich isle in M&S (and the rest) who still loves me and embraces my mad, the friend who made me my first 2020 roast and danced with me round the living room… the friend who sends me near daily funny memes and drinks wine with me down the phone (covid)

And to myself, I didn’t like myself, I’m learning to like me, cook for me, have therapy for me, not for us/him, I never thought lockdown love stories would never actually be about him. I love y’all❤️