What I’ve tried

This is madness
It was well over a year ago
And I have tried everything:
I've tried reaching out
I've tried giving you space
I've tried focusing on myself
I've tried a gratitude journal
I've tried singing abba everytime you pop into my brain
I've tried putting my energy into my career
I've tried new hobbies
I've tried new people
I've tried blind dates
I've tried letting my friends set me up
I've tried every single (exhausting) dating app
I've tried meeting someone just like you
I've tried dating your polar opposite
I've tried seeking a new love of my life
I've tried casual sex
I've tried dating three guys at the same time
I've tried dating girls
I've tried going on so many dates
I've tried focusing on self love
I've tried practicing gratitude to the loving relationships with my family and friends
I've tried getting drunk
I've tried to make peace
I've tried cursing you
I've tried ranting about you to my friends
I've tried to be your friend
I've tried blocking you
I've tried overanalyzing every interaction
I've tried giving you the silent treatment
I've tried to make peace with the your lack of feelings
I've tried hyping myself up
I've tried grounding myself
I've tried meditation
I've tried yoga
I've tried self help books
I've tried loving myself 
I've tried comfort eating and control eating
(I've tried buying a whole load of sex toys)
I've tried being keen
I've tried being nonchalant
I've tried never listening to our soundtrack ever again
I've tried to accept that you have a new girlfriend
I've tried to accept your lack of feelings


I've tried everything. Everything. I don't what else to do. Even at my best - I miss you, I think I might love you, I wish you'd come back into my life. I think you might be my soulmate.