I cried because the Ocado driver looked sad

I know I'm biased, but I’ve always thought my boyfriend and I have a pretty good love story. We met a few years ago (at his wedding but that's another story), then last year we met again, fell in love and moved in together within 4 months. Then exactly a year after our first kiss, I fell pregnant with our first baby. 

For anyone that's had a baby, you'll know how rough you feel in the first trimester. So going into lockdown at 6 weeks pregnant was pretty lucky really. I didn't have to do the trek into town while being so exhausted I could barely make it to the station and didn't have to sneak off to the disabled loo every 5 minutes to hide my morning sickness. But anyone who has been pregnant will also know how tough those first 12 weeks are mentally. I was filled with anxiety that something may happen to the baby, as well as unable to control my hormones (I cried because the ocado driver looked sad....)

While we wanted a baby, we weren't actively trying and although we were over the moon to be expecting, it's a lot to get your head around. It's never going to be us two again. There is going to be a tiny little person that's half me, half him and even though we aren't married, we will always be joined by this little person. 

And so all of a sudden our love was different. It was deeper. The joy of seeing a heartbeat on our first scan, of finding out the sex, planning all the work we need to do to the house, telling family together. 

It's obviously not all roses - the poor guy has had to deal with a highly anxious and hormonal girlfriend. But throughout it all i've realised more than ever what a good balance he is to my personality. He placates my worries with his laid back attitude and doesn't laugh at my excel spreadsheets. He's empathetic to my aches and pains without letting me wallow in them and I honestly couldn't think of a better person to have a baby with.

It may have been a rollercoaster, but I’m happy to be riding it with him.