1 year of lockdown dating

Well I’ve done a bit of internet dating, but over the lockdown it’s seems to be the only way to reach out to members of the opposite sex. I’m sure men have their stories to tell, but I can only tell mine from a woman’s point of few, (or just even my point of view……)

I’m a woman of a certain age, and I still look pretty good for it.

When making my profile on a popular dating site, I tried to be as honest as possible

 (Except minus a few years, I think both sexes do this)

I put up my most recent photos, with no filters but obviously looking my best. Close ups smiling, plus at least 1 full length, so the man knows what he’s getting.

I write about what interests me, and I’m honest about wanting a relationship as opposed to something casual.

Dear Men

These are my personal no no’s when it comes to trying to catch my eye.

1.   Try to have a wash and comb your hair, if you have any.

2.   Wear something decent, or at least clean.

3.   Try to take a decent photo, if you can’t manage a selfie ask a friend.

 (Please god no more photos taken mostly in bathroom mirrors)

4.   My pet hate is a photo of a man with his ex’s face scratched out with a pen, this just make you look like a sociopath.

5.   I’m sure there are women out there who want to see a man holding a big fish, but I’ve never meet one of them.

6.   Also I’m sure there are woman who are impressed by planes and fast cars ect ect, but who wants that kind of a woman…..

7.   Also I’m sure there are lots of woman who love an over active man, jumping out of planes, climbing mountains, and on a motor bike, head to toe in leather, (what are you hiding?)

Just looks to exhausting…..

8.   My pet hate is the whole cycling lycra outfit so unattractive

9.   But my biggest bug is man surround by their mates, so you have no idea which one they are, and worse surrounded by small children, (I’m not sure that this should even be allowed, as there are a lot of funny people out there). It’s fine to say you have children I just don’t want to date them.

10.  Laying in a bed with no top on, and a six o’clock shadow! It’s really not sexy, just looks sad and slobby…..

My best advice is just show you best self without trying to hide behind someone or something else.

A nice smile is always a good idea, who wants to start dating someone who just looks miserable.

Things men say……

“Don’t want any drama”

What does that mean, maybe you’re the one causing the drama?

“No baggage “

Everyone has some sort of baggage, and the older we get the more we have, in some ways this is what makes us interesting, as long as we use it in a positive way.

If you want no baggage your probably need date a 10 year old.

“I’m honest”

If you need to say this, it’s a bit of a worry, surely this should be a given……

Or saying nothing at all, as you obviously think that your, so good looking that you don’t need to, sometimes it’s the things someone says that I find really attractive, a photo is just not enough.

My Lockdown Dates:

I was obviously very careful, keeping the right distance apart, and meeting in the day time mostly for walk in a local park. In some ways not being able to go near anyone is a good thing, gives you more time to see what is really in front of you.

1.   Mr India we spoke a lot and even did some face timing. We seemed to get on, we arranged time and place, first bad sign he was almost an hour late, and looked a bit like he had rolled of the sofa, so not much of an effort made.

Also when you lie about your height it’s fairly easy to spot when you meet up, I’m 5.3 he was 5.7 but strangely we were the same height.

We walked around in the rain, and talked about his brother’s depression. (I chose not to see him again)

2.   The Frenchman, it was a lovely summers day, he was sweet but worked in hotels and was on a different time line to me, I think he would be getting up as I was going to bed. Even though we had a lovely walk, I think we both knew it was not going to happen.

3.   Beautiful shoes, he had a thing about shoes, and wore a lovely pair, I’m a bit sad about this man as we really did get on, and had so many things in common. Spent a lovely afternoon in the sun. We even had a second date planned. Sadly it was not to be he said there was a family drama and couldn’t commit to anything at the moment. It may have been a get out line…………

I wished him well and gracefully moved on.

4.   Idris,  This one lasted a few weeks, I’m using the name he gave me I’m pretty sure it was fake along with all the other names, when I called him he had another name on his answer machine! ( Oh he said it’s for work)

 There were so many stories who know’s if any were true, one date was cancelled because of a car accident, with photos and a story.

 We did finally meet, and had a nice day, he was also very easy on the eye, with a beautiful voice, but there was something that made me a bit uneasy

 I also bit worried by our very different political views, but I thought maybe we could just never discuss politics.

A second date never happened as he expected me to come, his house, which was really far away.

 I barely knew him and apart from a virus, he could have been a murderer.

When I said no, this didn’t go down well, and the next time I saw him was back on the website, now calling him-self Leroy!

So I sent him a text,

“Hope you find what you’re looking for LEROY”

5.   The afternoon caller:

This one was dead before it even began.

Nice looking man, and interesting.

We chatted a bit on the phone, he seemed nice.

Then I was invited to friend’s birthday party, first since the lockdown.

We were in her garden so we all kept our distance but it was a lovely summers evening, and I was just so excited to be out.

The outcome was I drank my body weight in gin and tonics.

Being a bit of a light weight I was sick all night, and then had to go to bed the next afternoon.

I’d arranged to meet a friend the next day, and the phone rang while I was still suffering, I thought it was her but no………

This man had used an app on the dating site where you can face time someone you have been chatting to.

I’m sure you get the picture, no makeup and looking my roughest, I tried to explain that no I wasn’t an alcoholic, and no I didn’t usually spend Sunday afternoon in bed.

But the damage was done, I never heard from him again……..

6.   The control freak

This man was very flamboyant and not really my type, but let’s face it my type isn’t really working for me.

He was also local and sounded interesting.

So the usual get to know you texting, after a few days I said lets chat he agreed.

My next text to him said please send your number and let me know when’s a good time to call.

Well I just couldn’t believe the text I got back it went on and on and on.

“Why didn’t you send your number first, you’re the type of woman that wants to control a man, you are the worst kind of woman, and on and on it went.”

I said this wasn’t intentional, and I was sorry he saw my text in this way.

He then said I’ve spoken to my friends and they have said that your an awful controlling woman ect ect

These have been some of the longest texts I’d ever received.

I just had to delete him and was very happy that I never wasted any time in meeting this one…..

* 

I’m fully aware that I’m not perfect, but I feel I’m always a work in progress.

I’m also sure that men would have plenty to say about some of the women, they have to deal with, but I can only give my own experiences.

I’ve heard that it can take on average up to 15 dates to meet someone, so I guess the secret is to keep on going, with a thick skin not allowing the knocks and sometimes bad behaviour, to put you off.

So as there is no other way to meet someone,

(Unless maybe a in a shopping queue)

Online is the only way……..

I decided while swiping left to try something different, I usually go for a certain type, time to take a new approach.

7. The hunk

 As he really is (I’ve never been into muscles)

Big plus points:

1.   When asking a question on the site, he answered in a straight forward way.

2.   When I asked for his number, there were no dramas

3.   When we spoke it was easy, and without any confrontation.

4.   He lives quite far away, but it wasn’t a problem for him to drive to my area.

5.   He was on time, and looked like he had made an effort.

6.   We had a distance walk then, went for dinner, he was lovely company, and a perfect gentleman.

7.   Since then he calls or texts every day, and has made it obvious that he’s keen.

8.   We have made another date.

I’m aware that its early days, but it’s all looking good.

My dream is to never have to go on another dating site as long as I live.

It’s also taking up far too much space on my phone………

UPDATE……..

Well this didn’t end up as a happy ever after, the first 2 dates were the best.

Top tips to look out for, he only ever called me from his car, never from home. If I called him he never picked up, I suspect he may have had a girlfriend/wife.

He then completely disappeared for a few weeks, then suddenly nonstop calls and texts,

“Oh there was a family drama”

 But I believe whatever is happening you can always send a text, unless of cause all of your fingers were amputated………

By this time couldn’t be bothered to pick up or reply, I just lost interest……..

8. Mr Spiritual

Nice to talk to, had a few things in common, although he was a bit intense.

We meet up for a walk, don’t want to go on about the height thing because I’m not looking for a very tall man, being only 5.3.

But why say your 5.9 when you’re barely taller than me, also there is an age and a size for a man to stop wearing skin tight jeans……

He was a very nice man I just couldn’t get my head around the idea of kissing him,

 (I’m pretty desperate to kiss anyone at the moment)

Would have liked to remain friends, but he did live quite far away.

9   Mr Unreliable number

Again this started with high hopes, the first date was dinner and it went really well, we seemed to have a lot in common

 Then he would make a date then cancel last minute, say he would call but never did, again if I called he would never pick up.

This must be a form of control, he would say that he was so busy with work, but to me this means you don’t really have the time for a relationship.

Funny as soon as I give up on a man, they then can’t stop calling.

Well Christmas and New Year came and went, welcome to 2021 and back into full time lockdown.

Mr unreliable is still texting but Ive lost interest.

Funny the more you show no interest the more they want you?

I’m always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but if I’m let down three times, there comes a point, where I feel disrespected, and I know this is not a good start to a relationship.

10.  Mr TikTok

This was now Jan 2021 and back into hardcore lockdown, so no meeting up even for a walk, but over two weeks we had only two actual conversations, instead I got about 3 TikTok messages a day.

I voiced that talking more or doing face time, would be a way of getting to know each other.

He thought I was asking for too much, not sure what his idea of a relationship was?

11. Mr Orderly (and slightly strange)

He had a nice face, we chatted and face timed almost daily for a couple of weeks, he even introduced me to his Mum

(Who he lived with)

I was slightly put off with the number of photos from him trying to look sexy. Then talking to a friend who is on the same dating site we realized we were talking to the same man, and she was getting the same photos.

When I asked he said he was coming of the site, and there was only me he was talking to………

But in the end I did wonder if he was Autistic? He ate the same food at the same time every day, and was in bed by 7/8pm every night.

So I had my doubts before we even met, for the usual walk around the park.

Yet again he lied about his height, he was also so small I felt like Amazon woman.

After our walk I realized that his idea of a relationship was to meet up for sex once a month, didn’t like to say that it might be easier just to pay for that sort of service……….

12. Mr Chatty

This time I decided no more wasting time, and chatting for weeks, so we met up within days.

He was a nice guy but didn’t look much like his photos, and sadly I just didn’t fancy him, I really tried, but a big thing for me is kissing.

(Oh how I miss kissing)

I just knew I could not kiss him……………….

A few days later I was on the site and thought OMG I’ve spoken to or been out with so many of these men, and just like that I thought it’s been a year and it was time to come off this site and this crazy world of internet dating.

Maybe I should just wait for the lockdown to be over?

Then my sister did some searching and looking at the best dating sites, so I thought well even if I have to pay it might be worth it.

So started filling in my details.

Omg by mistake I had ticked the box that said I was looking for females, instead of males!!!!

Well who knew how popular I was I have about 25 requests a day.

I’ve now become an unintentional lockdown Lesbian…………….

So even if I don’t end on a high note I’m ending on a funny one.

     Lessons I’ve learnt:

1.   I’m not perfect (don’t want to be)

2.   I don’t have to go out with someone just because they like me.

3.   Listen to my first instincts.

4.   Be true to myself.

5.   I’m happier being alone, than in a bad relationship.

6.   Somewhere out there, there is someone who is perfect for me.