Time travelling

We're done now, and I am moving on but once in a while my mind will latch onto a memory of you. In the end, we were always fighting. I was consumed by our fallout and the heartbreaking realization that I'd lost myself along the way too. But today, I rediscovered an old note I wrote to you back in the summer when we were falling in love and I choose to cherish the purity of it:

Hey you, I remember why I cried that night at 5 am.

I think it was partly because of how overwhelming and intense things are between us BUT it was also because you make me feel so wanted and beautiful. Not in a physical way even. Just like the whole of me… I don't know how to describe it. Basically there is no doubt in my mind that you’re sincere in your intense appreciation of me. I was just really overwhelmed by how that felt. I know I joked about ruining my image but 1) I don't know how to even do that 2) I would never do that to you and 3) I like how you see me for me and I’d never want to change that. Anyways, I'm not sure where this is coming from. If you put me on a 4 hour plane ride with nothing to do, my brain will naturally default to thinking about you.

I hope I make you feel the same way too. Not just because you make me feel that way but because I genuinely think you’re amazing both inside and out. I don't know if I am actually good at showing it like you because being avoidant comes naturally to me, but I hope it comes across in my own way of showing it at least. Which apparently is in random outbursts of intense thoughts late at night. 

I think I'm falling in love with you. You make me so happy. You make me feel seen and beautiful and wanted... and I love you.