7 months, 2 dates

Okay I’ve never written anything like this before, but here goes. 

November 2019 

I was a bit bored one evening at uni and decided to download Hinge. I know people that use it often and it seemed slightly more inviting than tinder. I had some really nice conversations with people - opening up to a stranger online isn’t something I would have ever considered but it was easy and I was careful not to say anything too exposing. One of the guys I was chatting to had studied in the same city as me and was coming up for the weekend asked if I wanted to meet up. I replied “fuck it”. Instantly realising what I had done and that I actually had to go, I felt a bit sick. This bit of fun, talking with strangers online seemed extraneous to my real life. Now these two worlds were going to meet. My first first date. I arrived to a warm hug and a pint of beer, feeling awkward I pretended to search for something in my bag and we spoke about things we had previously messaged about. After five minutes, I settled down. We actually ended up staying until the pub closed (probably due to the fact that we didn’t meet until around 11pm) and then walked around town until the early hours of the morning. I don’t really remember what we spoke about, but it was so easy-going. At university I struggled to connect with many people. At last, I felt at ease. 

Two days later he was off to China for four months, I had known this beforehand and didn’t think much of it. We said we’d see each other in four months. I think it surprised both of us that we kept talking almost every day. It seemed to just happen, despite the seven-hour time difference. He gave me his Skype username as most social media in China is blocked and so I redownloaded Skype for him. After some time, we video called and even though mid panic I shut down my computer the first time, we ended up speaking for hours.

March 2020

He was supposed to come back in April, but due to Corona Virus he returned to the UK at the end of February. About 10 days before the UK lockdown we had our second date. It was at this point nothing felt too serious (according to the WHO timeline our second date was on the day the virus was classed as a pandemic, but I don’t think our Government had done anything at this point). It was fun, I liked that we could be a bit goofy together. It was romantic too. I wondered what we were, if I had made this all seem more than it was. When I asked, he said it was too early to say and I agreed, for sure we had to spend more time together. We said goodbye with a kiss on the bus. Such a small gesture, but one I hadn’t experienced before. It felt so bold.

I moved back home right before lockdown, putting my life at uni on pause felt odd as I was just starting to really settle into it. Our communication during lockdown has been somewhat similar of when he was in China. He’s been working from home and I’ve been studying/pretending to study. We’ve watched films on Netflix party which is possibly the least enjoyable way to watch a movie, but it was kind of cute. It has been odd at times, sometimes seeming so pointless. I have questioned whether we are even compatible. Whilst I can't answer my own questions, I can say that this virtual company we have shared has been fun and strangely intimate. Getting to know someone online is not natural, but that’s not to say it can’t work. 

July 2020

As “normality” returns on the 4th of July, he’s coming to stay with me for a few days. After talking for 7 months and only going on two dates, a few days seems like a good idea. To be honest, I have no clue how it will be. There’s quite a bit of pressure for it to be great. Corona virus has stretched out the timeline of this situation, I wonder if without it we would even still be talking or if we would have been seeing more of each other. Who knows? I think the best description of this odd situation comes from one of my friends who likened it to a 17th century courtship. Here’s to hoping date number three goes well.