9 1/2 weeks: Part 5 (The aftermath)

I’m angry. I haven’t spoken to you personally for a month. Professionally I see you (via zoom) and my blood boils. I’ve been analysing your background, your clothes, searching for clues of where you are. I took a week off and thought I was healing. I come back to find out you’ve gone back to your ex, and have had a lovely holiday to Greece together. It was like I never existed. I have been offered a new job. A great job. Everything I deserve. But I feel like I’m running away. I have never feel as bitter and resentful as I do towards you. Never have I hated someone this much after I had loved them. You’ve made me feel not good enough, my appearance, my home, my achievements. Why wasn’t it enough? But the woman you said made you miserable, the woman your daughter stopped seeing her own dad because of, she’s enough? Is it my pride that’s hurt not my feelings? Is this combined with the absolute horror show we’ve all been in since March 2020 making vitriol flow through my veins? Or is this just what heartbreak does when you get older and so much more is at stake?