Not you

We hadn’t spoken for over two and a half years. We agreed not to as it would be too hard. Despite following each other on Instagram, there was never so much as a like. Until one day, about a month into lockdown. You reacted to a story I shared. My heart sped up. I took the plunge and sent a very brief message. You replied. We exchanged a few pleasant messages until you sent a text. You still had my number!! The messages got longer and we got to reminiscing about our time together, namely the more intimate moments. Seems it lingered on in your memory as well. 

We talked for months and it got flirty. And sometimes it got really filthy. I missed you with every fibre of my being. I ached for you. I would have given you everything. It hurt to be reminded of why we weren’t together. It felt unfair and I was angry, upset and resentful. 

I am currently almost two years into a relationship with a wonderful man who adores me. He’s everything I could want. 

But he’s not you.