I swiped right on a woman 9000 miles away in the middle of the pandemic and fell deeply in love. We would fall asleep on our phones as she asked me in a whisper 'Tell me what is our love story?' and I would regale the tale of our love for an eternity to come. Within 2 1/2 months I flew across the world to find out what this was as it felt bigger than anything I had ever experienced in my life. We fell into domestic bliss quickly, school runs, working from home, grocery shopping dates, walking the dog, binging on box sets, saturday walks and lazy sunday brunches with the kids. Perfect does not describe it, it was everything I ever wanted within my grasp, family, connection, love and safety. I extended my trip as long as I could before flying home after Christmas and knew I had to make it work - for us, for our love story. My friends thought I was insane, my parents warmed to this love slowly and I changed my job so I could be with her. It was never just me, it was us - for us. She was beautiful and intelligent but incredibly complex and all I ever wanted was to be entangled in her no matter the weather. I left my heart with her, a promise to return in 2 months time, this time with no restrictions and ready to start our lives together with the promises we made on scraps of paper, under dark skies and quiet embraces. She never made it that far, on the turn of a dime she woke with ' I love you good morning' from her lips and that evening left me with 'fuck you goodbye.'
It's been months and my heart still remains there as I try my hardest to piece together my life i pulled apart for her. I still hope, this is but a short chapter coming to an end in our magnificent love story still to be finished.