It was only meant to be a fling

At the start of the first lockdown - my partner of 10 years had left me - we had just bought a house, got engaged - the works. But he met someone else and I was left alone in the darkest place of my life. I spent my days crying, not eating, waiting for bedtime. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I was going to be alone forever. 
Fast forward a few strange months...I met the most amazing, beautiful, kind man. A friend set us up - it was only meant to be a fling - nothing serious, my walls were up. But I fell for him, and fell for him hard. He makes me feel the most alive I have ever felt. He makes me laugh every day and I have to keep pinching myself that he’s chosen to spend his time with me. 
I’m working on my self esteem, but even now, I am waiting for this happy haze to end. For him too, to find a better option and leave. 
But for now, while he’s mine, I will cherish him daily, get lost in his eyes and savour every moment with him. 
I love him, but I’m too scared to say.