Banana Drama

The week before lockdown I matched with a guy on Hinge 13 years my junior. We were messaging back and forth the whole of the first day then he asked for my Instagram (not my number!). We moved off the app on to Insta DM and the joys of disappearing videos. He had a thing for "licking". I would receive a daily message saying "send me a lick". After the first few I thought I needed to up the ante. First was an ice lolly and next came a banana... My frazzled lockdown brain wasn't thinking straight and the first video I sent was me licking an UNPEELED banana. It wasn't good. He then said to me, "why didn't you peel the banana first?" What an idiot! So I sent a second version of me licking and sucking a peeled banana. At the very end of the video the banana broke in half and fell on the floor and I burst out with laughter. Not sexy, but he seemed to like it. I felt like two-bit porn star. Never again.