Learning to love, me

Met him unexpectedly 5 months before lockdown, while I was healing from a toxic abusive relationship. We're both actors and were on tour in Austria, it was ridiculously romantic -  like we were on a permanent couples retreat. My walls were firmly up ... We laughed our way into the bedroom where we realised that this was more than a fling. Somehow he wasn't disuaded by me pushing him away and regular meltdowns. Covid took our job away, our entire industry was cancelled …but we weren't.

Lockdown hit. Moved back to my hometown, my lover in London. Found myself craving the smell of his armpits and his wide warm smile. We were (somehow) able to love and support each-other through late night skypes and sexy pics.

When lockdown ended we were reunited and I basically moved in with him and his family. We kept seeing this lockdown love stories thing. He joked that it looked like "lockdown loves tories" and was all a huge conspiracy. Who knows if you are a tory conspiracy. All I care about is that I've found someone who lights me up. He's helped me see what an honest, loving relationship can be and encouraged me endlessly to fall back in love with myself. And I am, slowly.