Flat not just mates

A year ago my friend broke it to me should could no longer afford to live with me in our lovely flat. I was gutted. Meanwhile we had made good friends with a guy at uni who had no where to live and at the time was commuting from home. My friend decided to go home to figure out what she was doing and she suggested asking this guy to stay in her room, to keep me company whilst she was away. I agreed seeing as I hated living alone and thought it was nice to have some company.

Him and I became very close, often ending the night cuddling on the sofa. A month went by (he never moved out when my flatmate returned, instead of sleeping in her bed he slept in mine) and he told me he didn’t want a relationship because he wanted to concentrate on his health (as he has a number of health issues). Although a little disappointed by this I was happy to just be friends because we genuinely got on so well. However a couple of days later we were acting like a couple again, he’d hold my hand, cuddle me, buy me little gifts. Over Christmas I invited him to an exhibition in London and he declined and then later again told me he didn’t want anything with me. I told him that if that was what he wanted then to stop acting like I was his girlfriend and to treat me like a friend. At the time I was in a very dark place mentally and I felt so hurt. January came and his new flat plans with his friend fell through so he asked if he could take my friend’s room. I hesitated but decided it would be fine because we were good ‘friends’. From January onwards we started sleeping together and acting more and more like a couple, even friends and family said we seemed like one. In February he ended things again but then 2 days later poured his heart out to me about how he had realised he shouldn’t always put his health first and he did want something with me. I rolled my eyes but agreed to try things again. All my friends told me not to give him another chance, how I wish I’d listened to them. 3 days later we’re sitting on the sofa and he’s telling me he doesn’t find me attractive and he doesn’t want anything with me. Total head fuck, I know. I’m sure you can guess what happens next, yes, he continues to flirt, sleep with me and treat me like his girlfriend. 

Lockdown is announced and we both decide to go back home and spend it with our families. I drop him off at his house and he gives me a hug and little tickle on the head goodbye. Lockdown begins and we both crave the physical affection we are used to have. We start dirty talking and sending nudes (I’ve never sent nudes to any guy in my life). Then halfway through lockdown he goes very quiet and just starts ignoring me. Naturally, I start wondering whether it’s something I’ve done ? He finally replies and we have an argument over text where he says he doesn’t want anything with me but I say that his actions don’t reflect that. We argue where he calls me a number of unpleasant things including insecure and manipulative and controlling. Somehow we resolve this and move on as friends, little did I know what was coming next. Lockdown ends and we speak about when we are both returning to the flat. I told him I would be back Friday he says he’ll be back Thursday. Thursday morning he messages me ‘when exactly are you arriving back?’ I asked why and then he made a comment which implied he was already in the flat ? Confused, I paused and asked him why he had lied to me about when he was coming back. He told me I was controlling and to stop interrogating him and said if I must know, he was meeting someone. I instantly knew it was a girl. I was so angry that he had lied to me and not been straight up with me. I’ve since discovered the reason he started ghosting me over lockdown was because he had a met a girl on Instagram and wouldn't surprise me if he was talking to us both at the same time. Since then I’ve had to put up living with him and having this girl round every other weekend. 

Fast forward to now we’ve had a number of arguments, and he’s finally decided to move out as we have nearly finished our masters (it was always the agreement he would move once we had finished) 
The other day I video called some lovely girls from Spareoom for a new flatmate. After a tough decision I offered it to a lovely American girl. When she said yes I unexpectedly burst into tears. Tears of relief and joy. I’m so happy I can finally cut him out of my life and stop letting him affect my mental health.

Moral of the story if a guy can’t commit to you, let that MANgo. Do not be a mug like me and give him multiple chances because he is not worthy of you ! x