Thinking about boyfriends past

I love my boyfriend. I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

But in lockdown I’ve had so much time to think about the other loves that have been. There’s one I hurt because I wasn’t ready, I think about him because I wish I could say sorry. There’s one who was a first love, who is a best friend. No one knows we met up many years after we were together and had an amazing few months. I think about him and feel bad for how turned on I get.

And it has made me realise. You can love more than one person greatly. And there are some you fall in love with over and over again. Even if you’ll never be with them again.

I love my boyfriend. But I love thinking of my past loves too.