If you ever

We matched on Hinge in February, you weren’t much of a texter and from your profile pics I wasn’t instantly attracted, even with my strawberry blonde, blue eyed addiction.
You asked to come round one evening and I was hesitant, it always ended the same way with me... and I wanted something different this time.
But one windy Sunday, the house to myself I agreed. We spent the next 5 weeks, one evening a week having sex and talking for hours, I could listen to your Irish accent for hours.
Lockdown hit, and 2 weeks passed with the struggle to get more than a “Hi, how are you?” in a day. I sent the first message 3 days in a row and on the 4th I stopped.
My friend screen shot me your plenty of fish profile, stating you were ‘looking for a relationship’ .... a girl was commenting on your eyes on Instagram, I was done... wiped you from snapchat.
I know you watch my Instagram stories, like my pictures occasionally, pretty sure you drive passed me on the way to work when I’m on the school run some days but no direct contact.
7 months pass and I wake at 4am after dreaming that you messaged me, so I stupidly send you a message on Instagram. Fall back to sleep, dream of you again. We have the shortest relay of messages in the morning, and I wonder if you ever thought of me at all over the last half a year.