I just heard you are now engaged

I just heard you are now engaged
Whilst the initial pain ripped and stabbed through me, a John Cena sized body blow
I can just about speak now, after catching my breath. The frightening palpitations have settled now, my heart less desperate
The shower is the only place to sob uncontrollably and wonder...
Could it be, that I am finally free
I can finally be done with this pathetic one sided fantasy