I tell him I enjoyed every minute

I locked down with my relatively new boyfriend and I tell him I enjoyed every minute of it. Although I’m a very privileged, lucky individual, in retrospect all the memories are sprinkled with anxiety. I felt trapped in a cage and far from home... He so adamantly loves me and thinks we are going to spend the rest of our lives together - as much as I adore him, I fear we are too young to make such commitments to each other. I went through his ex girlfriends messages with him and it’s all “can’t wait to get our dream house and a puppy.” Sometimes I worry if he’s being genuine or just acting out what he thinks love is from interpretations from movies/pop culture. I hate the fact that what I thought were potentially OUR dreams have clearly come from a script. If anyone asks, lockdown really let me get to know him and it was beautiful. In reality, lockdown proved to me that no matter how many christmas’ I spend on my own, I’ll always be a codependent motherfucker!