I wanna break up and never ever talk to you again

It was a Friday when I last saw him, my now ex-boyfriend... I was madly in love with him is what I always told myself. It was only when lockdown began that I realized I don't! It was just a 19 year old girl, a law student, trying to bring some excitement and color to her life.
The first few days of lockdown were very emotionally challanging and traumatizing. Every evening was spent sitting and endlessly crying out, listening to "The weeknd". We texted and called each other every now and then but I gradually started to draw away from that relationship, and it was a very organic separation on my end. Within a few weeks, all the "love" of months and months vanished away as if it never really existed.
"I wanna break up with you" and never ever talk to you again. I told him and never reverted back but he kept contacting me....I removed him from my social media but he still didn't stop. Unfortunately, I had to block him. His "love" had become a threat to my life, to my health both mental and physical. It was toxic. He stalked me, he troubled me and messaged me anonymously so many times that I had multiple mental breakdowns...I started to get dreams where I was being raped by him and his friends, I was so scared. I couldn't open up for help to anybody for 2 to 3 months...Finally, I opened up to my mom and getting no response or support from her side, having lost all sense of normalcy...this one morning I finally wrote a formal complaint letter to the college authorities and since then he never reverted back. My phone ringing still makes me so anxious that I always keep it on flight mode. I always loved having a public Instagram and posting aesthetic pictures but I had to delete all of my social media. Solo coffee and ice cream dates, random strolling on streets on a good summer day, everything I stopped.
When the lockdown opened up and our regular classes started, I avoided college even when it had been a year of sitting at home. If I ever went out for necessary things, I always got scared seeing any Punjabi boy with a turban assuming its him or someone from his family.
I don't feel physically safe anymore and I don't know when I ever will...
This second wave of corona virus has now got us into another lockdown and one of the prime and only reason I'm okay with it is because there is no necessity for me to step outside, hence I feel safe.
My toxic end of relationship with my toxic ex has only got me more closer with myself, my life and taught me multiple life lessons. So thank you to lockdown'2020 and all the suffering that I went through because it is now that I truly feel that "It wasn't happening to me, it was happening for me".