Out of the blue

My partner decided to end it at the start of lockdown. He gave so many reasons but none made any sense. It was so good between us, every moment magical even during the lows. His voice is what I woke with and ended my day with, so peaceful. I tried to hold on as long as I could when I felt he no longer gave me a reason to. And he had every reason to stay but he gave up. He threw away us and our potential too. We were so happy. Yes, I spent nights as I worked frontline thinking about him, missing him, craving his voice and so many more things. He was gone, yet, so alive within my memories. I would sometimes wonder if I crossed his mind, but I would crush my thoughts as soon as they formed. Days turned to weeks and then months, and I would look at his number thinking I should check if he was ok. But I could never call. Not a night goes by without a prayer escaping my lips for him, for him always to be safe, to be happy. They say you don't need someones presence to love them, he was and is safe in my heart and soul because his fingers have left a trace of all that he was in my skin and heart. I decided to move on in life, with work, my dreams and goals. The days varied - I could be moving on and growing, growth is painful and there are days when all the memories would come and I drown in waves, overwhelmed with unsaid things. Months went by, I met someone new, but he is nothing like him. I still look for my previous partner's eyes, his dimpled smile. And as I look within all I find is him. And then out of the blue he messages me. ‘Of all the things I love and treasure, it is you. But I need time. Our love, us - it felt right.’ Maybe the timing was wrong.