Decisions
My partner and I had been together for four months when we were given the ultimatum; along with the rest of Britain, that you choose your household and stick to that. Being a medical student living in hospital accommodation my placement really wanted it’s accommodation free for extra staff they would need to take on, so I was either to move back in either my dad or my partner. This was by no means an easy decision. I’d lived exclusively with my Dad since the age of nine and he is my absolute world. I was definitely a “melt” at university, going home every weekend to see him, holidays included. For the first time I would be living somewhere else.
Honestly it’s been the best decision of my life. I’ve grown so close to the most wonderful human being I’ve ever known. For a long time I thought I was incapable of being loved and definitely not on the level I have felt it for others. My partner makes me feel like my presence is not only valued but it’s precious beyond words. I feel the exact same about him.
At the same time one of my now ex best friends had a similar predicament, only through a choice that wasn’t her own she couldn’t move in with her boyfriend. The fact I could and my partner and I’s love really flourished living together, definitely rubbed her the wrong way. She started to make little jibs where she could get them, eventually bringing up my past abusive relationship and how that affected HER. I decided we could no longer associate when she said to me “Well at least I didn’t abandon my dad for my boyfriend of three months.” This really did hurt me, and I won’t pretend it didn’t. However none of what she said was true. A. We’d been together for four months and B. I spoke to my Dad who put in a really beautiful message that I didn’t abandon him and that freaky he was overjoyed that I had someone who cared about me just as much as he did, and that when he’s gone I’ll have someone to support me. (My Dad is an older parent and this is his biggest fear)
What I want you to take from this is something decisions are bloody terrifying, but you can simplify it down to two options. It will work out. Or it won’t. The most important thing is that it is your decision, right wrong or indifferent you will be the one living your life for almost a decade and you must make it right by you not by other people. I had known this girl for plus two years, she behaved as if I owed her something because of the time we’d known eachother, and that somehow my partner was less valuable than she was. It’s important to differentiate time from importance. Do not be frightened to move in the direction you need to go, sometimes people belong in your memories and not your present, and that’s ok.