Tinder fate

I had never been on tinder before in my life. I don’t know why I downloaded it, perhaps boredom, perhaps I was just longing for communication, a validation that this experience was happening outside of my household, or outside of the supermarket. I wasn’t lonely, I was inquisitive, but I wasn’t met with many of the insights I had hoped for. That was until I came across his profile, I immediately knew. I don’t know if it was the juxtaposition or what, but he stood out instantly. As we talked we discovered we were from the same neighbourhood. We talked for months, over text, over the phone. We sent videos to each other of our favourite books and I laughed at how similar our bookshelves were, how similar our perceptions of them were. We debated so much via voicenote that my housemate asked me if I was talking to myself. And then we met and took an 8 hour socially distanced walk until it got dark and cold. I felt like guys always had used me for sex before. I guess I always worried that that was all I was good for, but he was driving hours to see me, for us to not even brush hands. It felt so good that I was scared it would end, but my fear melted away like everything does, with time. The first time we kissed was in his car, in an ugly carpark. I used my mask to cover my smile on the walk home. I just knew. We have been together ever since. We always joke about how without coronavirus we would never have met. Until lockdown he had never been on Tinder either. I like to think we might’ve met, if coronavirus had never happened, but we got to know each other in a way unlike anything I’ve experienced in my life. Perhaps the most wonderful thing about our love is that we truly see each other, truly understand each other on a deep level. It’s strange how before lockdown, when obtaining connection was supposedly easy, it had always been harder to achieve. Our connection was born out of disconnection. Our love has offered me a tenderness and a healing that I’ve never before known.