Relationship material

33 and never had a serious relationship. Always wanted one but in a perpetual loop of the ones that want me I don’t want, and the ones I want don’t want me. Until I met him. Ten years my senior, two kids. A lot of baggage, especially for a first relationship. But if that’s what love took, I would be willing to try. We started with virtual dates, then walks in the park. He was kind, honest, funny, cute. He was an adult, funny but steadfast and intellectual and exactly what I needed. In just one month I felt a comfort and connection I hadn’t before. He was quickly becoming the most important romantic relationship I’d ever had. But he was looking to settle down, for a step mother to his children. He decided that wasn’t me. I got the usual “I’ve really enjoyed my time with you” and “you’re a wonderful person I just don’t see a future”. I’ve had it so many times: I’m great, but not serious relationship material. I’d love to know where to get that material, because if I’ve learnt anything over this past year, it’s that I’m tired of going it alone. Maybe it’s best I didn’t start a relationship with a man who would always, understandably, put me second. Or maybe that amount of change would’ve be just what I needed. Now I’ll never know.