Sparks

I’ve been single for four years after being left heartbroken when my ex bf decided to move to another country and didn’t want to try long distance. During a moment of boredom in February, I decided to download Tinder. I wasn’t expecting to actually meet any one as I haven’t felt any chemistry with anyone since my ex. However, I quickly matched with this guy who I really shouldn’t have as we live in different cities, a hundred miles apart, but we had a crazy amount in common; similar childhoods growing up in different countries and attending boarding school, both passionate about the environment, and both very close to our siblings and have gone through some tough times with them. We decided to have a virtual date as we wouldn’t be able to meet up in person for months due to the restrictions and our shared experiences and values were too unique to ignore. Although I was worried it would feel awkward, it actually went great. We messaged all day everyday for over a month and had two more virtual dates which both lasted over 10 hours long. The attraction was there and he ticked all my boxes so I began to get excited that maybe I had finally met someone worthy of my attention after all these years. During one of our virtual dates we drunkenly decided to book trains to meet halfway for a day over the Easter weekend once the stay home order had been dropped. I was worried about the spark not being there in person but when we met it felt like I already knew him. We broke social distancing and flirted and kissed and made plans to see each other again. For me the connection was real and I was genuinely excited about someone for the first time since my ex. Two days later, he went quiet and I had this awful feeling that something might be wrong. He messaged this evening to say the spark wasn’t there for him and that we wanted different things. I’m so confused and disappointed. I think I’m done with dating for a while.