Couldn’t ignore the desire

New Year’s Day 2020 my life fell apart 
The red flags I had ignored all became to much. My fiancé had been up to no good for a while messaging endless women to fulfil his need for attention. And I left 

From the moment I met him, he gave me fireworks in the pit of my stomach and asked me to marry him there and then (although we settled for a relationship at this point) Our whirlwind romance blossomed very quickly and many holidays and a couple of homes later we had planned our wedding and were hoping for a family to closely follow. 

I have no idea where it went wrong, or why I wasn’t enough. We initially saw each other once a month or so through lockdown and then at the end of July he cut all ties. 

Every day my heart aches for him. 
Every day I wonder if today will be the day he realises I am his soulmate and he comes back to me. 

Today it dawned on me almost 37 weeks after leaving. 

Why is it that he can manage to ignore the person he ‘loves’, yet he couldn’t ignore the desire to emotional cheat on me?!

Sums up love and dating in 2020